爱情二三事第一季

第一次知道这部剧是某任男友推荐，他觉得我有些NPD倾向，说我可能会喜欢看这部剧，由于当时有抵触心理 ，所以看的时候没有想过他是在影射我。后来每次分手都会重新看一遍，每次都会发现更多细节。目前的感觉是NPD的世界里真的只有自己，人生剧本中的故事线只有一条，无法体会别人的感受，所以无法意识到自己伤害或间接的利用善良的朋友和伴侣。身边的人会一个个失望的离开，然后NPD最后还会觉得自己是受害者。 怎么说呢？就是自作孽不可活，Krama is a bitch。 自己曾经如何对待别人，未来的某一天就会有一个人施加一个完全一样的反作用力给自己，总会轮到自己品尝恶果的。 但是无论失败多少次都不能放弃自己，要继续努力学习好好做人。NPD的特征：1. 夸大自我重要性，例如夸大自己的才华并期待被人看重； 2. 永远专注于成功、权力、美貌、或是理想爱情等幻想中； 3. 认为自己独特，仅能被其他特殊人物或高位者所认可并与之相关联； 4. 需要过度的称赞； 5. 不合理的认为自己有特殊权力或获得他人无条件顺从； 6. 处理人际关系时显得自私，好以占便宜来满足自己的利益需求； 7. 缺乏同理心︰不愿意认同和感受他人的情感需求； 8. 常嫉妒别人或认为别人嫉妒他； 9. 常有傲慢行为或态度，显得自高自大。 10. 自恋型人格障碍的患者可能强烈羡慕某些族群，并渴望成为同类人，因而伪装成对方，期待获得等同的羡慕。女主还参加了 Sex & Love addiction 的互助会，这里也列举下病症Characteristics of a Sex Addict

Engaging with multiple sexual partnersNeeding more sexual activity or more extreme forms to feel the same pleasureEngaging in risky sexual behaviorTrying to stop but being unable toNeglecting personal and financial responsibilities in favor of sexual activityObsessively Thinking about sexBeing unable to be intimate with a partner because it does not produce the desired level of pleasure or induces feelings of guiltContinuing to engage in sexual activity despite it causing problems at home or in other areas of the sufferer’s life.

Characteristics of a love addict

Feeling a constant need to be in a relationshipCommitting to and falling in love with a partner without really knowing themConstantly moving from one relationship to another in search of loveNever feeling satisfied within a relationshipBecoming obsessed with and overly reliant on a partnerStaying in an abusive relationship for the sake of being in a relationshipSuffering from severe depression and destructive behaviors after breaking up with a partnerMaking personal sacrifices in order to please a partnerNeglecting their own needs and needs of family in order to be with a partnerIsolating from friends, neglecting personal responsibilities and finances when with a partnerBeing jealous and possessive when a partner talks to or spends time with other people.

Causes of a Sex or Love Addiction

Family history–Sex and love addictions can be learned behaviors, and if a child is brought up in a home where one partner is a love addict, that child may go on to believe that this behavior is normal and so continue the cycle.Hormones–Some individuals have higher hormone levels than others; this can affect their sex drive. Those with high levels of sex hormones may be compelled to engage in excessive sexual activity, as all they can think about is sex and seeking gratification.Traumatic experiences– Those who have suffered emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood or during their first encounters with relationships, may be more prone to developing a sex or love addiction. Their traumatic experience(s) is all they have to go on in terms of what a relationship should look like. Low self-esteem and self-worth can drive the individual to seek out love and sex in the wrong places and with the wrong people.Previous bad relationship–Individuals who have suffered previously in a bad relationship in the past, may feel unworthy or obsessed with the idea of being in love. They may seek out numerous relationships, desperate to feel loved; or they may stay too long in unloving and unkind relationships, feeling that is all they deserve. By carrying the baggage of their past bad experience(s) they will struggle to form healthy relationships with others.

希望有一天能够珍惜身边人，学会爱自己和爱别人。

又一部爱情剧，不知何时开始，我就特别喜欢看爱情剧，可能是内心需要一份爱情吧。不过，在选择上却带有个人品味。        电影方面，我会选择那些描述爱情多美好，结局一定是happy ending的。例如，《当莎莉遇上哈利》、《相见恨早》、《在人海中遇见你》、《爱情无线牵》等电影。而电视上，而刚好相反，描述现实的爱情、带有点点丧的电视剧才是我最爱。这方面，目前在追的有《我爱上的人是奇葩》。       这部剧也刚好算在里面，这是一个无聊男和丧女的故事，看着两人的相识和相处，觉得这才是大多数成年人的模式吧，可能互相也有感觉，但是总是徘徊不前，往往最后把对方和自己逼上绝路，开始吵架了才说出自己的心里话。       可能人们都把这种叫做成熟，我有我的秘密，你有你的秘密，互相彼此不敢说起自己的感受，害怕自己的软弱变成别人的利器用来伤害自己。能够维持的就只剩下那个对爱情抱有期待的小女孩、小男孩藏在心中。     话说回来，这剧情，其实有时是感觉连接不上，例如第七集开头那里，男主和女主的剧情就有点快了，前面一集结尾才说男主因为女主的爽约而不开心，后面一开头就来这么一出，反正这里我是看不懂的。不过，好在，这季结束之前，女主在加油站对男主的对白，让我觉得有期待感，打算看完下一季。就这样。

看第一集我就想拍桌子：终于有人把约会的尴尬拍成喜剧而不是浪漫预告片了。豆瓣7.6分（1080人评价）不算高，但这部剧的价值从来不在于讨好所有人——它被评价为‘Netflix的现实主义约会指南’，在我看来，它更像一记耳光，扇醒那些相信‘命中注定’的人。专业评论说它‘用诙谐又尖锐的笔触深入刻画现代亲密关系’，我同意，但还不够。它简直是把现代人的恋爱病扒光了扔在阳光下：米琪酗酒、缺爱、总把作当作个性；格斯则是个骨子里的loser，靠讽刺别人来掩饰自卑。他们在一起不是互补，是互渣。观众反馈说‘真实呈现了现代恋爱关系的复杂与 messy’，没错，看着他们吵架、和好、再吵架，就像看自己的录音带。最绝的是，男主保罗·鲁斯特同时是编剧——他写的就是自己这种宅男的幻想与幻灭。剧中有一段，格斯在派对上说‘我很复杂’，米琪冷笑：‘你不复杂，你只是有个让人想睡的童年。’整个剧就是这种调调：把矫情戳破，把浪漫主义踩碎。更难得的是，Netflix在播出前就预订了第二季，说明他们知道这种反套路的爱情有市场。我甚至觉得，每个在爱情里假装洒脱的人都该看看——看自己有多狼狈，然后笑出来。